tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1311726728778956292024-03-21T22:20:08.986-07:00my random thoughtson the blessings in this life... mixed with the heartache of losing my mothertrishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-49764282751801684452013-05-09T21:45:00.001-07:002013-05-09T21:52:30.741-07:00BlessingsEvery single day I am in awe of the support that we have received on this journey. As anyone knows, having children is not cheap. We went from a couple to a family of five literally overnight. All of the extra financial responsibilities that we suddenly had should have caused a panic in us. We were suddenly responsible for the actual costs of the adoptions, travel, having to be away from home for three weeks, getting these kids home and having to buy furniture, bedding, clothes, personal items, food, etc. People would ask if I was worried about it and I had to say that I was not. Sometime I felt like "they" thought that I wasn't being realistic about the extra costs coming our way, but I knew that if God was placing these children in our home, He <i>would</i> provide. He came through in a big way! We were blessed with a grant from <a href="http://sacredselections.org/" target="_blank">Sacred Selections</a>. This along with monies from <a href="http://1213online.org/" target="_blank">1213</a> and donations from <a href="http://onestone.com/" target="_blank">One Stone</a> paid for our adoption! We were told not to worry about the money... just to take care of those babies! Once we knew that the finances were taken care of it<i> was </i>easy to focus on our new children.<br />
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We have had family, friends and friends of friends who have helped to clothe our children. So many people were willing to do whatever they could to help. I got boxes and bags of gently used clothes that were perfect! These hand-me-down clothes have been such a blessing! A year ago these kiddos were a lot smaller than they are now. They have all grown at least two sizes since we brought them home less than a year ago and one of them has even grown four sizes! If we had to go out and buy new clothes every time that something didn't fit, I don't know what I'd do. I know that there will soon come a day that I DO have to buy new clothes for a rapidly growing boy or girl, but the help that we have had in this department in this first year has been a tremendous blessing! <br />
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We have been blessed in so many ways. So many of our friends and family have blessed us monetarily. I was surprised at Christmastime when we randomly received generous checks from a couple of unexpected places. Without these blessings, our first Christmas together would have been good, but because of a few caring friends and family we were able to do a little better than that. Before we even came home as a family, a young lady from the church that we visited handed me a check and told me that she and her husband so appreciated what we were doing. We had only just met them that day!<br />
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The extra expense of suddenly being responsible for three children was definitely a shock to our systems! There are still moments that I am overwhelmed at how much more I spend at the grocery store. I get a little stressed when shoes start shrinking or all of the boys' socks disappear. The electric bill is higher than ever and we cancelled our very basic cable plan (who cares about that anyway?). I buy lots of toilet paper, soap, toothpaste and toothbrushes and wonder why we go through those things so fast. I didn't ever have to buy diapers, but I do buy nighttime pull-ups and those puppies aren't cheap! No matter what, we have a lot of love in this house. Although we wouldn't be considered wealthy by many other Americans' standards we ARE. We are blessed with everything that we could possibly need and lots and lots of what we want. trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-44183829990715372102013-05-01T21:26:00.000-07:002013-05-09T20:54:12.636-07:00Whirlwind DaysI know that I am leaving things out. Everything happened so quickly yet it seemed to take forever. I realized the other day that it was a month from the day that we knew of these babies existence to the day that we left our home to get them. We definitely had stress filled days and nights. There were times that we were so sure that we would be parents soon and times that we were equally sure that these babies were not to be ours. We had mountains of paperwork, things that just had to be done, hours spent on the phone, prayers all the time, worries about finances, babysitting. I had a niece that was about to be born in another state and I wanted very badly to be there for her arrival if at all possible. There was just a lot going on and all the while I was wondering if THIS time it would all work out. And it did, of course. Just to give a little run-down here:<br />
<br />
<b>April 19</b>- Find out about three little cuties needing a forever home.<br />
<b>April 20</b>- Call Social Worker to get help with copies of home study. She basically refuses and I am able to take care of it.<br />
<b>April 23</b>-Call Social Worker again. No answer. Email. No Reply.<br />
<b>April 24</b>- Ditto<br />
<b>April 25</b>- Call again. This time get an answer. Very nasty treatment and Refusal to help.<br />
<b>April 26</b>- Drive an hour away to meet with her boss's boss. Get some help, but not all.<br />
<b>April 27- </b>All FBI clearances, state clearances and child abuse clearances MUST be in. They are not. I feel hopeless. <br />
<b>May 1</b>- Adoption lawyers suggest getting an adoption agency to help with clearances and post placement <br />
visits. Contact an agency they recommend and get turned down because of the distance.<br />
<b>May 3</b>- Talk to the current caretakers of all three children. Get so excited and Finally start thinking that it might be really coming together!<br />
<b>May 7</b>- Get an adoption agency lined up. They get to work IMMEDIATELY getting us the remaining info that we need to bring our babies home. <br />
<b>May 8</b>- My birthday, pretty uneventful day considering all the chaos.<br />
<b>May 9</b>- Skype with the boys. We had a problem with our camera and we could see their BEAUTIFUL faces "in person" for the first time, but they could not see us. <br />
<b>May 10</b>-Skype with boys again for a few minutes. Not very talkative on either side. We didn't want to scare them and they just wanted to play. We were smitten! We also decided along with their caretakers that Skype was too distracting, the phone would probably be better. <br />
<b>May 11</b>-Drive to my sister's home on Friday. Plan on staying until early Monday morning. Pray that Baby is born before I leave to go back home.<br />
<b>May 12</b>- no hint of baby. <br />
<b>May 13</b>- Mother's Day. Baby Leah makes her debut. I KNEW she was a girl! Get a phone call from my boys and they yell, "Happy Mother's Day, Mama!" I know that someone put them up to it, but I will never forget hearing my boys call me Mama for the first time. Happy Mother's Day indeed! <br />
<b>May 14</b>-Kiss baby Leah goodbye and drive home, daydreaming about the day in the near future when I will meet my babies in person. <br />
<b>May 15-18</b> Wait on news that all the paperwork has been cleared and we are good to go.<br />
<b>May 19</b>- Drive away from home as husband and wife ready to take on additional titles of Daddy and Mama. trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-9553433579382826982013-05-01T20:47:00.003-07:002013-05-01T20:47:27.761-07:00Adoption AgencyWell, if you know the rest of our story, you know that it didn't end with my last post. The clearances were not just going to appear and I could not get them even though they were my fingerprints. The adoption lawyer suggested that we contact an adoption agency to see if we could explain our plight to them and get them to help us with the FBI and state clearances. By this point it was into May and we were told we had to have everything in by the end of April. We hurriedly looked for an adoption agency. Since we live in a small town we didn't have any options here that we could find. We ended up getting an adoption agency a couple of hours away and I just fell in love with Judy. She was everything I was needing right then. She was so sweet and helpful and QUICK! She helped us get the fingerprinting set up and sent in all the information that she could right away. She went ahead and agreed to do our post placement interviews and helped ease the stress caused by our other situation. When we started working with Judy, things just got easier. Everyone at the adoption lawyer was great on their end, but we were needing someone on our end and Judy was there with everything we needed. May 7th we secured her services and the agency she worked for. Two weeks after being accused of having a private adoption agency, we did actually get one.<br />
<br />trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-47750269969534337112013-05-01T20:15:00.001-07:002013-05-01T20:30:14.612-07:00Bumps Along The WayThe next few days after hearing about these babies were a frustrating, scary whirlwind of emotions, chaos and desperation. The day after getting the call, we called our Case Worker to tell her that we had another situation involving a private adoption. That did not go well. Even though we had been very upfront about our desire to help children that came our way, either through the state or private adoptions, she treated us like criminals. I was really sad about the way that she treated us. Until that moment, we had never had any problems with her. We had loved
her through out the whole process. She was always so nice. We had trusted
her with the most intimate details of our lives. She had been in our home on many occasions, we talked about wanting to be parents all the time. All along this path we had known that we were interested in
adopting AND fostering. We had always been open about that, in fact I would
often ask to make sure that our home study could be used for other states if
something like this came up. I was always assured that "yes, once your
home study is approved, you can do whatever you want with it." I knew that with
our connections in the adoption world we would randomly get calls (like we have
for years) and that we would pursue each case as far as we could. She had
always said that was ok. Always! Until that Friday. When I called that day to ask for an emailed copy of our homestudy, she snapped at me and said, "This
just all seems pretty deceptive to me!" I was blown away! I didn't even know
what she was talking about. What had I done that was deceptive? I asked her
and she that it was deceptive of us to use DCS to get a "free" homestudy and
then use a private adoption agency. I told her that we were not using a
private adoption agency, this was something that we heard about the night
before and we wanted to be able to adopt if we could. She said, "WELL, I'll
email this to you at the end of day. I'm too busy right now!" Well I was mad (and emotional)
by that point, so I told her not to bother bc I had a copy at home that I
could scan. I was going to do that anyway but time was of the essence and I
called assuming that it would be an easy thing for her to do. Monday rolls
around and the lawyers office called and said that we needed to get some info
changed on our home study, it needed to say specifically that we could adopt
up to age 5-6 (something that was supposed to be very easy to do and she offered to do before when she wanted to place older children with us). So I called
and left a message. No reply. Then I emailed. No reply. Wednesday rolled around
and the lawyers office called me. They needed this info ASAP. So our contact at the lawyers office called
our social worker. She told me that our SW was not nice at all and asked her
how long we had been working with a private adoption agency. Joy (the case
worker for the lawyer) said that as far as she knew we were NOT working with a
private adoption agency and this just happened last week. Anyway, Joy called
me and told me that I need to call our SW again and tell her that we needed
the addendum to the homestudy and our FBI, state and fingerprinting clearances
before we could proceed. She said that our SW told her, "You want those? YOU
get it!" Again, I am shocked! Our SW has always been nice to us, never would
we have expected this! So I called her again, This time she answered and she
was spitting mad! She said, "Well I just p*** ** off "Mary Jo" ( or Joy) at
"heart for Joy adoptions" (not even the right name) but oh well!" She smugly repeated
to me what she told Joy and that basically she didn't have time to do their
dirty work for them. Since they were a private adoption agency they could do
it themselves. AGAIN, I say, we are NOT dealing with a private adoption
agency. We are NOT! We have a friend in another state that has a friend at the lawyer's
office. That is all! We are not working with a private adoption agency.
Then she told me that what I am doing is fraudulent and that the tax payers in our state aren't paying her so that I can get a free home study to adopt. I reminded her
that SHE herself told me that I could do this. I reminded her that Jonathan
and I were always very above board when talking about the fact that one day we
might get a call like this and we would like to proceed. Instead of agreeing
that she had told us numerous times that we could do whatever we wanted with
our home study, She said, "Well, I'm new and I didn't know that people commit
fraud like this and that people really do just try to use us as a free home
study with <i>no intention of ever fostering</i>." I tried to say again that that is
not what we are doing. We are not trying to be frauduelent, We are interested
in both fostering and adoption. We just want to help kids, in whatever
capacity that we are presented with. She wouldn't listen. She told me that the
home study approved us for adoption and she could do no more. Several times she
asked," What do you want me to do, it says you can adopt?" I told her that it
needs to specifically say in so many words instead of saying it in a round
about way. And the age needed to be changed. I also told her that we also
needed to have our fingerprinting, FBI and state clearances. She told me that
was nothing she could do. Our home study did say that we could adopt, I don't
know what else your "private adoption agency" wants. She also said, "If you get these three children, then your home will be
full and I WILL call you when I get a cute little newborn and you won't
be able to take it because your home would be full, and you WON'T have
babies!" That was hands down the MOST hateful thing that anyone has ever
said to me. I was at a loss. I really
didn't know what to do after that. I was an emotional mess. Someone that I thought was on my side had just blasted me. She called me fraudulent and deceptive and absolutely refused to help me and said hateful and hurtful things to me. I called my adoption friend and cried. Not for the first time and not for the last. Dana told me that I
needed to get in my car right then and go to her supervisor asap and tell her what we needed. It was almost
5 and her supervisor's office was over an hour away, so we waited until the
next morning. In the meantime I hit my knees and prayed like never before. I wanted to protect these babies and be the Mama that they needed. Oh, how I prayed for those babies that night. The next morning, a Thursday, we left early. Jonathan took off work to go with me. I really
needed him. He said he was looking at it like labor and he wanted to be with
me if I was in labor! Jonathan and I both
kinda wanted to go in guns blazing (not literally, of course!) and tell the
whole story about how we were done wrong, but Dana calmed us! She said to go
in with a meek and quiet spirit, don't back track, don't give the week's
history and see what that does for us. EXCELLENT ADVICE, I must say! Had we not been so emotional, scared and frustrated, we might have thought of it ourselves! She also told us to be prepared to wait
the entire day. Ugh, I was not
looking forward to that. We had come across the supervisor before and she was
not really an approachable person. We were both pretty intimidated to have to
do this, but we weren't quitting if the end result was going to be these kids.
I kinda felt like I was headed to the lion's den. I told my sister that maybe God
would shut the lion's mouth for me too! We got to the office pretty early the next morning. The secretary had asked who we needed to talk
to so we told her. She told us that lady was not there, but she'd give us
someone else. So we talked to this other lady for awhile and we were nice and
meek and quiet. She did ask why we didn't go to our own social worker and I
almost broke down in tears, but I just said that she told us that she wasn't able to help us.
Then, she made us wait in the conference room for awhile and she told her
boss. I'm not sure if it was our SW's boss's boss or if they were on the same
level. Either way, she wasn't as scary (God did shut the lion's mouth for me!)
She told us that she could get the home study changed and she called our SW
who suddenly could take care of it right away. The FBI and state clearances she could not
get. They WERE the property of the state and had to be redone. We tried calling the state to see if we could pay for them since they were already done and we needed them before the close of day Friday, but it was a no go. By the end of a very trying and emotional week, I realized that we COULDN'T get these children. Those clearances just would not be there in time. trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-89924414147043428612013-05-01T19:41:00.001-07:002013-05-01T19:45:33.423-07:00Getting THE CallOn April 19th 2012 I was very tired after a long day of babysitting. I think maybe there had been no
school that day, so I had 4 siblings all day, plus another little boy that I kept. It was a busy day. I was tired and falling
asleep when I got THE call. I contemplated letting it go to voice mail,
but when you are waiting to be a Mama, you almost always check before
just letting the phone ring! Well this call was from our adoption
friend. She said, "I've got a situation. I have three siblings looking
for a forever home. Two boys and a girl. Ages 5,4 and 2. We need to know
by tomorrow at noon." I said, "Ok, yes! Well... let me talk to
Jonathan!" Dana told me that she didn't have a lot of information on
these children yet and I might need a little more time to think about it. I told her that I'd call her back soon with an answer. I talked to Jonathan for a few minutes and we decided that we would pursue this as far as it took us. Called Dana back and said YES! We are ready to see where this leads. We <i>were</i> scared. We were only thinking that we would be comfortable with accepting children up to age 4. We had just agreed to a 2, 4 and a 5 year old. These "babies" had special needs that must be met. They had experienced trauma in their little lives that must be dealt with. When we said yes, these were the only things that we knew. After saying that we were willing to pursue this we started getting emails that night. Emails of paperwork that we needed to sign, emails full of information, doctor's records and names of these precious babies. We found out that both boys had birthdays very soon, so as scared as I was to have a 5 year old, it was made a little scarier knowing that I'd also have a 6 year old. It's a bit scary for first time parents to start with 5 and 6 year olds! The things that they had experienced in their young lives made me so sad. Very quickly I felt like a Mama Bear and just wanted to protect MY babies. trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-24378971149870242772013-05-01T13:54:00.002-07:002013-05-01T13:58:31.547-07:00Things change...Wow! Things sure have changed since my last post! I will try to catch up in the next few days. Maybe months, who knows! :) When I last posted we were in the process of becoming Foster parents. We had started the classes and started our home study. We were moving right along, or so we thought. We were supposed to be approved as Foster parents no later than December 15th, 2011. When we asked, "What happens if we aren't approved by then?" the answer was always, "You have to be. You WILL be approved." We had finished our classes and finished our paperwork by November 15th. We knew that we wanted to be on the ball. The sooner we could get approved, the sooner we could start getting "babies". Our case worker kept assuring us that we were on track. The beginning of December came and went. Nothing was happening. We were trying to be patient. We were aware of the fact that we were dealing with the government and it probably wouldn't be done early, but we hoped that it would be. December 15th came and went. My friends sent me flowers in congrats, but still no approval came. We waited another week. No word. Christmas came and went. Then New Years. We were almost finished with January when we FINALLY got the news that we were approved as Foster parents. We would love to start out with itty bitty babies, but we knew that being willing to foster sibling groups would get children in our home sooner. After six years of marriage, we were ready to have a family. We had hoped to start receiving calls right away, but for some reason it did not happen. January ended, February came and went, March came in like a lion as always. No calls! How does this happen? I was always told that there is always a great need for Foster parents.<br />
When we were taking classes and getting our home study complete, we asked our Case Worker if our home study could be used for a private adoption as well as state. We let her know that we were not using the services of an adoption agency, but that we did have friends in the adoption world and sometimes we would get calls about children needing to be adopted. Our goal is to help children. It didn't matter to us if they were children in state custody needing a temporary or forever home or if they were children needing a forever home that came to us in another way. We asked about this several times because we didn't want to be unethical in using a state funded home study if we MIGHT someday adopt privately. Each time we asked, our case worker assured us that once our home study was completed it would be ours to do with as we will.<br />
By March of 2012 we were starting to wonder if we would EVER be parents or Foster parents. in mid-March we got a call from our Case Worker about siblings that were outside of the ages we were comfortable with. It was the only call that I said no to. It was the only placement call we had gotten. Also in mid March we got a call from our adoption friend, let's just call her Dana. She told us that there was a birth mom pregnant with triplets due in August. Were we interested? Uh, YEAH! I know some people would think this crazy, but I have always WANTED multiples. She submitted our information to the birth mom and we waited. There is nothing like waiting to hear if you have been chosen by a birth mom. It is not easy! I am sure that it's not easy for her either. Well at the end of the month we found out that the birth mom had chosen another family. It was hard to hear, but we were still waiting on being Foster Parents, so it wasn't as hard as it had been in the past when we weren't chosen. About that same time we got a call for two little girls in our age range needing Foster Parents. We said YES! The next couple of days rolled around and it was decided that these two girls would live with a grandparent instead. This was our only acceptable call and only the second that we had the whole time we had been Foster Parents. This was hard!<br />
To be Continued...<br />
trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-75431088679689107272011-11-14T17:38:00.000-08:002011-11-14T20:59:12.845-08:00A Child of Mine by Edgar Guest<i></i><br />
<b><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text">"<i>I'll lend you for a little time</i></span></b><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"><i><b> A child of Mine," He said.</b></i></span><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"> <i>"For you to love the while he lives<span class="text_exposed_show"><br />
And mourn for when he is dead.</span></i></span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"><span class="text_exposed_show"> <b><i>It may be six or seven years,</i></b></span></span><br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"><span class="text_exposed_show"><b><i> Or twenty two or three;</i><br />
</b> <i><b>But will you, 'till I call him back,<br />
Take care of Him for Me?</b><br />
<b>He'll bring his charms to gladden you<br />
And should his stay be brief,<br />
You'll have his loving memories<br />
As solace for your grief.</b></i><b><br />
<i>I cannot promise he will stay</i>,</b> <br />
<i>Since all from earth return</i>.<br />
<b><i>But there are lessons taught down there<br />
I want this child to learn,<br />
I've looked the wide world over<br />
In My search for teachers true,</i><br />
</b> <i><b>And from all the throngs that crowd<br />
Life's lanes I've selected you.</b><br />
</i><b>Now will you give him all your love</b><i>,<br />
</i><b>Not think the labor vain,</b><i><br />
<b>nor hate Me when I come to call</b></i><b><br />
</b> <i><b>To take him back again?"<br />
I fancied that I heard them say,<br />
"Dear Lord, thy will be done.</b><br />
</i> <b><i>For all the joy Thy child shall bring,<br />
The risk of grief we'll run.<br />
We'll shelter him with tenderness,<br />
We'll love him while we may.<br />
</i><i>And for the happiness we've known,<br />
Forever grateful stay;<br />
But should the angels call for him<br />
Sooner than we've planned<br />
We'll brave the bitter grief</i><br />
</b> <i><b>That comes and try to understand.</b>"</i><br />
<br />
Edgar Guest</span></span><br />
<br />
<span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text" id="yui_3_2_0_16_13213304100911381"><span class="text_exposed_show" id="yui_3_2_0_16_13213304100911380">I love these words <i id="yui_3_2_0_16_13213304100911379">so much. </i>I truly think that I can find comfort here and in God's word when my heart gets broken. I know it will be broken, but I am ok with that. I understand a little of Hannah's heart when she gave Samuel back to God. Something that struck me recently that made me think of her in a new way. I've always wondered how she wanted a child so much, but just weaned him and sent him away, even to give him back to God. I mean what's the point? A few weeks ago, I suddenly realized that I was basically signing up for the same thing... "Please God, give me a child, I know I'll probably have to give him back to you, but please let me have him for a little while". I recently realized that her years of instruction while she weaned him, helped him to be the man that he was. Even though he lived in Eli's house, he grew to be godly, while Eli's own sons grew to be wicked. Her training in his early years lead him to be a man of GOD. I pray that I can be someone's Hannah. Even if these babies go home, I pray that my influence will be as hers was. I also pray so much that I can be an influence to the birth families. Mama was such a good example of that, she tried to be someone that those single moms could call on for support, well after those babies left her home and went to their birth mommies. I hope that I can be like these two Women of God as I become this scary thing called a foster parent.</span></span><span class="commentBody" data-jsid="text"><span class="text_exposed_show"><br />
</span></span>trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-87097695225425147002011-09-14T19:51:00.000-07:002011-09-14T19:51:37.812-07:00Nostalgic DayI've been crying a lot today again. Some days are just bad! It seems so weird to say that, because even though I've cried literally every day since we lost Mama, there are still days that I consider to be good days. Some days I cry for a few minutes here and there, but I am comforted by the fact that I believe that she lived her life in a way that ensures her eternity with God. I truly believe that I will see her again in Heaven. Some days, like today, that thought isn't enough. I still believe that and take comfort in it, but I just miss her so much. I want to talk to her and be with her. I dreamed about her the other night and I think that's what made me sad yesterday and today. I dreamed that she was here, but always right out of my reach. She was busy with other things and though she was here, I couldn't really talk to her and she couldn't talk to me. I dream of her often and the dreams are getting more and more frustrating. In the beginning, I would dream that she was still here and the dream itself was so happy and peaceful. Once I woke up, it took a bit to remember that she was gone and that was a hard transition from dream to reality. Now I am realizing that she is out of reach even in my dreams. It makes me wish I could have happy dreams again, even if I have to leave the dream when I wake up. Sometimes it is helpful to look at her pictures. When I see pictures of her, it's easy to imagine that she is still here, she just looks so full of life! It is bittersweet, I guess, but more on the sweet side. I'm going to share a few of the pictures that I found recently:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPQpfVqJwwctlXf19GkHg023tf5EGn8bHJYMdzKoEXD1_9Tbi1drMdKh02S2SzAEY6hbvxIkzHthuefhZJMi8dCqHYNpEvEkQwDZok07O3D_50CzmU_CKH4_9521GPWjWPxErSIw-JnlI/s1600/scan2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPQpfVqJwwctlXf19GkHg023tf5EGn8bHJYMdzKoEXD1_9Tbi1drMdKh02S2SzAEY6hbvxIkzHthuefhZJMi8dCqHYNpEvEkQwDZok07O3D_50CzmU_CKH4_9521GPWjWPxErSIw-JnlI/s400/scan2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mama and the three oldest. She was pregnant with Suzanne here.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqwBqaMk3dTSxZuNxNPZyIeQM4GS5U7C07LsBHRa4hLpLkj6Iy-NSx0S8lP2oxYRJl_3w7vP5gGCs-fuzf-6phTS-jR_6tqDVTh-fWxEORU0hnYuoalYaQMHqzOKv3Xq4jmyan0KjDioI/s1600/scan40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqwBqaMk3dTSxZuNxNPZyIeQM4GS5U7C07LsBHRa4hLpLkj6Iy-NSx0S8lP2oxYRJl_3w7vP5gGCs-fuzf-6phTS-jR_6tqDVTh-fWxEORU0hnYuoalYaQMHqzOKv3Xq4jmyan0KjDioI/s320/scan40.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">She was probably about 18 here. That is baby Angie in the background.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1chcTKWgMNDr-VYem83YxGcPnG5jOKcVb28nveXR2gO7wv79oHbsZYVCJt5s6pm1rrgTVoxpxs0mo3r5LBQ8NrKY3B5nJqO5yxxNexieOm5aD1A682RaAATI1x8GgFezz5o91K9bGF5Y/s1600/scan12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1chcTKWgMNDr-VYem83YxGcPnG5jOKcVb28nveXR2gO7wv79oHbsZYVCJt5s6pm1rrgTVoxpxs0mo3r5LBQ8NrKY3B5nJqO5yxxNexieOm5aD1A682RaAATI1x8GgFezz5o91K9bGF5Y/s320/scan12.jpg" width="316" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mama and me on my 1st birthday. She was 7 months pregnant with Sam!</td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-1125991227784853962011-09-03T22:57:00.000-07:002011-09-03T22:59:41.473-07:00PATHOur second class was on Thursday night for three hours. Again it went by so fast. Jonathan and I are like sponges, soaking up all of this information. We were getting ready to leave class a little after 9 and he looked at me and said, "I thought tonight was three hours." I said, "It was supposed to be. Why? What time is it?" And he looked at the clock and said, "Oh, it's 9:15. I thought it was 8!" We have two more night classes and one all day class next Saturday. Then we have 4 home studies. We got a packet of information about the requirements for the home study. Lots to do there, but we will get it done. One little shocker, we have to get a land line telephone. What a blast from the past! :) We haven't had one since we got married and it had been years since either of us had one before then.<br />
We finished our homework late Wednesday night. I let Jonathan cheat... Just kidding. I did finish before him, but we all know how slow he is! :) So much of what we are learning is common sense, but at the same time, it's nice to know the expectations that the state will have for us as "resource parents". Some things are scary, I can't remember what all I've told you all about it, but in TN over 50% of children go back to their birthparents. That still leaves about 48% that need forever homes and that is still a LOT, but they are really stressing that so many children go back. It is our duty to have a good relationship with those families as long as possible. I can say that I know myself enough to know that it will be hard to look at another adult or two and know that they've done something so bad that the state of TN has TAKEN THEIR CHILDREN AWAY from them. I know that I need to love them and knowing so much of what my mom went through, I know that will be hard, but I also know that sometimes people can change and they DO sometimes love their children enough to do so. Just pray for us in this. I know that the parenting will be hard, but the liaison between birth parents and kids can't be any easier than I think it will be. I'm counting on it to be much harder... Even with all of the heartaches and heartbreak that I am realistically thinking it will cause, we are SO EXCITED to travel this path. (Ha Ha, I just made a funny by accident. Our parenting classes are called PATH Parents As Tender Hearts... You know they just made that up so it would say: PATH!)<br />
It's been a super busy weekend so far. I hope we can have a little bit of a lazy afternoon tomorrow. My cousin got married today in Nashville and she had a shower last night. I drove to Nashville and back to attend the shower last night because I knew I wouldn't make it to the wedding. It was a super rushed trip, but I was glad I went. It was nice to visit with my mama's family a little bit. My Aunt Ann and I cried talking about Mama for a minute, but that was kind of expected. I knew that I would get emotional if I went, but I needed to see her sisters and sisters-in-law even if it was just for a few minutes. PLUS I actually did want to see the Bride to be since I wasn't going to make it to her wedding tonight! :) I passed Jonathan's parents on the interstate last night on my way to Nashville. They were headed here for the weekend. They are here this weekend for his birthday. His parents and his brothers went in together and bought him a very nice grill for his birthday. We are excited to try it out tomorrow! Well, if we can find a propane tank that is! Part of my family will probably join us after church as well. Doesn't really sound relaxing, per se, but at least it should be fun! :)trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-18955631131976688022011-08-29T22:25:00.000-07:002011-08-29T22:25:35.282-07:00Our First ClassOur first class went well, I thought. We were supposed to meet for two hours. We actually stayed longer than that, but I really thought that it went by really fast. It was very interesting and everyone seemed so excited to get started. It was kind of hard to believe that the 2+ hours passed so quickly. I half expected our class to be boring, but I wasn't disappointed to be wrong! We ended up having homework and apparently that will be a weekly thing. I didn't expect that, but that is ok too. We have 3 more Thursday classes and then an all day Saturday class. After the Saturday class we have 4 home studies to do. One with just me and one with just Jonathan and two more with both of us. They have 90 days to approve or deny us. We are hoping to be approved by the end of the year and pray that we can begin taking care of kids very soon thereafter! Just because I know that some of you are curious, I will go ahead and say that we have to be foster parents for 6 months before we can adopt. They are really stressing that babies are not the norm for adoptions in the system. They also gave us a statistic that over 50% of the children in the TN foster system are reunited with their families. A couple of years ago that would have really, really scared me. It still does, to be honest, but I can also look to my parents example and others that I have known who are in the system and see their experiences and know that sometimes birth parents can change for the better and it is my job to love them and their children through that. I know that it will be MUCH harder to do than I'm thinking right now. I'm just praying that we can be the example to the children and parents that we need to be and when the parents can't or won't change then I hope that we can be the parents those children need. I also pray that when the parents DO change and are able to be parents again, that we are able to let go. We know that it will be hard either way. trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-89501711963260251732011-08-16T21:43:00.000-07:002011-08-16T21:43:18.972-07:00I'm so excited... And I just can't hide it!I wish my Mama was here. I have some very exciting news that I would LOVE to share with her!<br />
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Jonathan and I begin classes next Thursday to become Foster parents! We are so excited about this opportunity to become parents. I'm so giddy that I can't even think about sleep at 11:30. (In case you are wondering, Jonathan is sleeping just fine... at least he was until I went and jumped on him and told him again how excited I was!) He is very excited too, he just knows practical things like someone who works two jobs needs sleep even if he is excited. I'll try to refrain from waking him again in my giddiness! ;)<br />
I've been getting a little discouraged about this whole business. I haven't really heard from CPS lately and I wondered if we were still in the process of doing this. I have been super excited all along, but hearing nothing is discouraging sometimes. I DID know that I needed to be patient, but I my patience was running a little thin. I've been praying about it lately. A LOT. Then, this evening, Jonathan came home from the church building at about 7:45 and asked if I had gotten the mail. Nope. So he goes to check it and there are two bill-like envelopes. I didn't think much of it until I noticed the huge grin on his face. I wondered what he was so excited about, but "Wipeout" was on, I was babysitting 4 kids, AND my phone just dropped a call from my sister, Suzanne, making me more than a little distracted until he handed me the letter. It was a one page letter telling us of the times and dates of our classes to become Foster Parents AND they start NEXT WEEK!!! I was so excited! I told Jonathan that I felt like I finally took a test and it was positive!! I'm not really sure about the process. I don't know what happens after the classes, or how long until we have little ones in our care. But I DO know where we will be every Thursday night for the next few weeks. And then one Saturday class that lasts ALL day. I'm sure that I will know more after our first class next Thursday night! I'm super excited and a little scared, and I really miss my Mama right now. But mostly, I am excited! Please pray for Jonathan and Me and our journey into parenthood!<br />
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trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-18500578471508081042011-08-12T20:44:00.000-07:002011-08-12T20:44:41.470-07:00BusynessSorry that it has been a little while! We have been super busy 'round these parts. We got Daddy and the girls moved in. Hannah and Heather have been tested and they have gotten into the right grades at school. They had been home schooled for the past few years, but without Mama at home that was too hard to continue. Mama always thought that home schooling them was best. They had been behind when they were with their birth families and they still have a lot of struggles. I am still worried about them being able to keep up in their classes, but we will help them as much as we can. They are very happy with their new school and their new classes. I am excited for them in their excitement. Beth was happy to realize that her band Director from Bowling Green was a former band Director at her new school. She knew that he was from somewhere in west TN and she found out on the first day that he previously taught here. She was glad to have that connection.<br />
There is still a lot of work in getting everyone settled. Everything is moved here and all the basic things are in their new places. There is still a lot of cleaning and rearranging to do, but we will get there. It is good to have them here.<br />
I have switched from babysitting during the day to babysitting most evenings. Every evening, except Wednesday, I am picking up Hunter, Angel, Scott and Azlee from after school. These are the same kiddoes that I kept during the summer, we just have a different schedule now, and since they are in school, I am keeping them at their home instead of mine.<br />
Wednesday, I drove Daddy back to BG so that he could get his other car. We left later than we intended, which gave me a chance to visit my brother and sister-in-law, Stephen and Mary Anne, and my sister, Brittnye. Stephen and Mary Anne have the cutest little older house and they have done a lot of work on it. Brittnye also has an older house that she and several girls from school live in together. Brittnye's room is pretty cool and even has an old fireplace. Since I was running so late and wouldn't make it back home in time for Bible Study, I took advantage of the opportunity to visit with my old "Home" at Lost River. I am always encouraged while worshiping with the members there and love to visit whenever I can. It was a late night of driving to get back home, but it was worth it to visit with my Brothers and Sisters at Lost River church of Christ!trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-18348585035346281032011-08-12T20:20:00.000-07:002011-08-12T20:26:21.430-07:00Hummingbirds<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEGHx3CAVSAnPzIO6ntv1OkdS3CEcyApGNPuco8kzv5zzZ61DFgl9KZNTC87A3IN_d5SCVGeCOMYI_3BHqOVQrqVwd_pvvNtga-91Mq8e1yhDsuF99Bn0n16cUwmxdeCyvIvCUzvZITlc/s1600/KGrHqNlME4lstSprsBOQRwtKjw0_3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEGHx3CAVSAnPzIO6ntv1OkdS3CEcyApGNPuco8kzv5zzZ61DFgl9KZNTC87A3IN_d5SCVGeCOMYI_3BHqOVQrqVwd_pvvNtga-91Mq8e1yhDsuF99Bn0n16cUwmxdeCyvIvCUzvZITlc/s320/KGrHqNlME4lstSprsBOQRwtKjw0_3.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My new ring</td></tr>
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I was browsing on Ebay the other day and I came across a hummingbird ring that I loved. Mama loved hummingbirds. She could just sit and watch them for hours. Every time that I have seen once since she died, I have thought about her and smiled. So I found this ring and decided on a very small limit and bid. I was so excited a couple of days later to see that I had won!<br />
My sister Suzanne liked my ring so much, for the same reason, that she ordered one today. Her's is the same style, it just looks much newer than mine. This is the one she ordered today. I couldn't take a picture of mine because I have misplaced my camera. It looks exactly the same, only more vintage-y. I really like it a lot. <br />
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</tbody></table>trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-18074737532854145062011-07-28T15:09:00.000-07:002011-07-28T15:09:12.711-07:00Yesterday Was Plain Awful... you can say that again....Ahhhh! I had a bad day yesterday. I could not stop crying! By the afternoon I had cried myself into a terrible headache and I was just so worn out from the crying. I just missed my Mama so much! Some days are just so hard! Most days are so hard, just easier to manage. I got "caught" crying several times yesterday by Azlee. I think that she was worried about me! :)<br />
Yesterday was actually a good day, just a hard one emotionally. Daddy bought a house here in Tennessee much closer to me and across the street from my sister Suzanne. I think that we are all excited about it, but it is hard that they are closing the chapter on living in Bowling Green. Mama would have loved to live here across the street from grandkids and so close to me and Johnny and our future babies. She would have LOVED it. Knowing that she will never be here, living this close is super duper hard. BUT, it is so exciting for Daddy and the girls to be so close. I think they are all so excited about it too, but there is sadness even in our excitement. It's just a little hard to be as excited as we want to be.<br />
Actually, I am having a much better day. Yesterday was just one of the days that I was just sad and I was just gonna be sad no matter what. Today I am just my normal, "I can't believe that we "just" lost Mama" sadness. We knew that she was leaving us 30 weeks ago today. It still seems unreal. The night before I had just opened her hospital door, popped in for a minute and said, "I'll see ya in the morning, Mama, Love you". I never dreamed that those would be the last words she would ever hear me say. That night she went to sleep and never woke up. I do see many blessings in the way that she died. I just wish it had been 50+ years into the future! I am so glad that, as far as we know, she never knew that she was dying. She didn't worry about all of us being helpless without her and have the same sadness about not being able to see her grandbabies grow that we have. She wasn't scared. She just went to sleep, and then she went Home.<br />
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Soooo, anyway, We are moving Daddy and the girls this weekend. From BG, KY to the woods in TN. Wish us luck... the whole lot of us have bad backs! :) Mama was always the packer. She could pack things into a car/truck better than anyone I ever knew. When Angie, Sam and I went to FC, she got all of us there, all of our things for the year and we were in the car with the rest of our 9 person family, who also had to have clothes for a few days! Maybe my brother-in-law Ethan can help us. He is actually a close second to Mama in the packing department. We hope to get the whole thing done this weekend!trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-76521780891526535252011-07-26T14:02:00.000-07:002011-07-27T09:25:46.783-07:00Blessings in DisguiseTwo years ago Jonathan and I were excitedly awaiting the arrival of our first child. We had decided to adopt and we had heard through one of my good friends about a birth mom who was looking for adoptive parents. My friend's mom set up a meeting with the birth mom. We sent her letters and pictures and she sent us ultrasound pictures. We finally met and talked for a little while. We told her how excited we were to possibly become parents soon and she told us her fears of raising this child alone. Though she wasn't a christian, her parents were and it was important to her for her child to be raised in that atmosphere. We seemed like a good match to her and it wasn't long before she let us know that she had chosen us to raise her child. We were so excited! She was due on January 5th and she told us that we could be at the hospital when her baby and ours was born. She wanted a few minutes with the baby before giving up her parental rights. She seemed very aware of the sadness it would cause her. Though it is hard to see someone else in pain, I loved the love she had for that baby. She was considering the best for her child and it was great to see that she had no lack of natural affection, even though choosing to let someone else raise her child. I was on cloud nine. I was so incredibly excited! Finally, I was "expecting"!<br />
Within a month after choosing to let us be her child's parents she changed her mind. We got the call on Jonathan's birthday. While we had only "known" for a month that we were going to be parents, we had known of the possibility of being able to raise this particular child for almost 3 months. There were so many emotions that I was experiencing in this. A lot of the time, though it seems foolish now, I hoped that she would change her mind again. I really thought that she would. I was happy at the thought that if she were able to raise her child, that child would be with a mother that weighed her options and thought about what was best for her child, even if that meant letting someone be the parents. It was easy for me to think of trusting in God's timing through this. I really thought deep down that this was part of His plan. I thought that her changing her mind was just going to be part of the process. I thought a lot about the fact that she changed her mind once, she might change it again. I really really thought that. It was hard to hear the initial comment that she had decided to raise the baby herself. She let us know at the same time that she was having a boy. My heart was broken at that time, but soon I was back to thinking, "In God's time". I wasn't sure how it would happen, but I was pretty sure that she would change her mind again.<br />
She didn't change her mind again. Her little boy was born on New Year's Eve 2009. We have never met him, or seen pictures of him and we don't know his name. I think of him often. "Losing" him was the hardest thing that ever came my way. I grieved for him for nearly a year after his birth. I cried all the time for so long. I felt like my grief couldn't be understood by most people. I mean, it wasn't like I had a child who died. It wasn't even the same as a miscarriage. My child still lives, only not with me. Never with me. I never even got to meet him. 2010 was the hardest year of my life, start to finish. For most of the first part of the year, I was grieving over the loss of "my" son. By the holiday season, I was starting to be "ok" and then tragedy struck. I lost my sweet Mama on what would have been his first birthday.<br />
Though it took a while to see the blessings in NOT becoming a Mama when I wanted to, I have been seeing little blessings all along. Losing this child helped me face the greatest fear that I have always had with foster parenting. I know that when you become a foster parent, you <i>ALWAYS </i>run the risk of allowing a child that you love go back to his or her birth family. That is heart breaking and I thought I'd never be able to do that. You want to love the children in your home with everything you have, yet it's scary to think that they might not always be there. Mama and I had many conversations about this before she died. She had wanted us to become foster parents for a long time before we were open to the idea. But we, and I especially, were worried about this very thing. She let me know again again that it was the hardest part of the process. BUT she always stressed that no matter how long a baby or a child was in our life and home they could be a blessing to us and we could be a blessing to them. She also told me that people make hurtful comments about it all the time. Saying things like, "I don't see how you do it, <i>I </i>could never give a child back to a bad situation". She always said that she would let those people know that the point isn't that you "let" them go back, it's that you let them in in the first place. Sometimes things are out of your hands, but you pray for God's guidance and you do whatever you can to help others, even if your heart is broken in the end. That was hard for me to get. I mean, I saw her be so sad every time a child left her home, but I didn't think I could do that. Before Mama died, I knew the heartbreak of losing a child that no one but you really considers to be your own. I've done it once, and it isn't so scary to me now. It is still terrifying, but I know that I can do it now, because I've done it before. It's way scarier to think of having a child in my home for a long time and then having to "give them back", but I know that I can handle what I'm given. I know that it will be hard, but I've faced loss before and came through it. One thing that Mama liked to remind me of, was that you never know what might happen with your biological or adopted children. You aren't guaranteed to raise them to adulthood either. In that sense Fostering isn't much different. There's a greater chance of suffering the loss through Foster care, but the risks are there regardless. I think the "loss" of our first baby will bless us in the future as we become Foster parents. Sometimes I feel like this may be the answer to WHY we weren't able to become parents on New Year's Eve 2009. Another little blessing, though I admit that it's a little silly, is that my baby's first birthday wasn't the day his Nana died. Though now, none of my children will ever get to meet their wonderful Nana, I think that first birthday would have haunted me.trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-47750992589519824622011-07-19T12:27:00.000-07:002011-07-19T12:27:37.545-07:00Back in the DayMy cousin Keith found some old pictures of my parents yesterday. I cried really hard when I saw them, but I was so glad that he found them and posted them on Facebook.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He started falling in love with her at 14!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC5XJ-5Qi8oC11K8ZRRyoxqcNOiwNex9ynoPboEEAMfkU3zK9Q1vQo8YIn1sUMleDgFAc1Sw7u4wNmqLB855yaMv52g5Ck7LLHp7dXi7ay6JMKKrh_rBIFEF-RWKWqkWTfpmlrYT5FPmw/s1600/266616_2179878667369_1558986347_32301426_5118160_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC5XJ-5Qi8oC11K8ZRRyoxqcNOiwNex9ynoPboEEAMfkU3zK9Q1vQo8YIn1sUMleDgFAc1Sw7u4wNmqLB855yaMv52g5Ck7LLHp7dXi7ay6JMKKrh_rBIFEF-RWKWqkWTfpmlrYT5FPmw/s320/266616_2179878667369_1558986347_32301426_5118160_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I kind of remember them like this, so maybe this was in my lifetime.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Sometimes seeing things like these pictures or revisiting memories of her can just take my breath away with sadness. I had a little bit of a hard day after seeing these yesterday, but they are so special to me. I am so glad that Keith posted them. I think that each burst of incredible sadness is part of the grieving process and so when it hits me so hard, I just go with. I think that tears help. God over all, but also memories, tears, prayers, my family and my Johnny are getting me over this loss. It <i>is</i> a huge loss, some days are so much harder than others, but I know that we are going to be ok.<br />
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One of my best friends' sister-in-law lost her mom last night. I don't know the details, but her mama was 55. I know that she is going to have some really hard times ahead. Please keep her in your prayers. Her name is Lisa and I know that your prayers will help her. Knowing that so many were praying for our family was so comforting to me. I was so thankful for facebook of all things in the days before and after losing mama. The constant reminder of friends and family keeping us in their prayers was amazing and it was such a blessing to me. Imagine, facebook being a blessing, but that was exactly how I saw it in those days. Knowing that literally hundreds of people who love God were mentioning our family to him was priceless. If the "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much" as James said (And I believe that with all my heart!) then so many praying was definitely availing much!trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-27298537518636322712011-07-10T19:02:00.000-07:002011-07-10T19:02:55.204-07:00Tired!Whoo! I have been so tired lately! My family being in town last week wore me plumb out! :) I loved every minute of our visit, but I still haven't recovered from the lack of sleep. Being so tired meant that I was not a fun babysitter last week. I'm still tired on Sunday night, so this week isn't looking too good in the fun department either! Actually, I think I'll just take naps with the babies and maybe that will be enough to help. I have plans for a few projects this week, so hopefully I will be <i>a little</i> more fun than last week anyway. trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-12335246859434160892011-07-08T12:49:00.000-07:002011-07-08T12:55:12.561-07:00PinterestI have a new guilty pleasure. It reminds me of circling things in my Nanny's Sear's catalog when I was a kid. It is <a href="http://pinterest.com/">Pinterest</a>. You have to request an invite but it is so much fun once you are in. I have wasted too much time on it already<span style="background-color: white;"></span>. It is a place for new ideas on food, home decorations, crafts for kids or just about anything! I have even tried some of the things that I have pinned. I just click on things all day long that I like, or I'd like to do or try. It really does remind me of when we were kids and Nanny would give us her Sear's catalog and tell us to circle what we wanted for Christmas. We would each circle just about every toy in there and write our names beside it. She was always able to find just what we wanted with that system. By the time that Christmas rolled around we had forgotten half of what we circled so we were still surprised at what we got. <br />
Request your invite and get to pinning! :)trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-46448804386992099322011-07-08T12:26:00.001-07:002011-07-08T12:28:41.348-07:00Fourth of JulyMost of our family was able to get together this past weekend for Independence Day. We had a really good time, even though we missed Brittnye, Mary Anne and Clay. We were all able to get together at Suzanne and Ethan's, affectionately referred to as the RNCC, or the Red Neck Country Club. They have everything there. An awesome Tree House, which had the grand opening of The Shark Bar, Emilea's and Abbie's restaurant, on the lower level. Regretfully, I never made it to the Shark Bar last weekend, but I heard that it was AWESOME! I wish that I could have at least made it to the Free Popsicle event that they had, but I was too busy trying to make my awesome <a href="http://www.bakerella.com/cheesecake-bars/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Bakerella+%28Bakerella%29">cheesecake</a>. It was delicious, but not quite as awesome as I had hoped. Definitely should have made an appearance at the Shark Bar in any case. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqrQvhfSoLcOfFtbl2aCyiJfUlDa6afjpq5FDupUee23fB7c31QAu9njtZ7bDN2ajtVB-hq_rdES_KudYfyGsvJf1B5Rdn9TJ_3uqWLdynfIhz6NrtVVNUPrXD9ylAzd4lV_bdg0FgwzU/s1600/168736_10150132506537755_659927754_7706429_3729379_n.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqrQvhfSoLcOfFtbl2aCyiJfUlDa6afjpq5FDupUee23fB7c31QAu9njtZ7bDN2ajtVB-hq_rdES_KudYfyGsvJf1B5Rdn9TJ_3uqWLdynfIhz6NrtVVNUPrXD9ylAzd4lV_bdg0FgwzU/s320/168736_10150132506537755_659927754_7706429_3729379_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the awesome tree house. The Shark Bar is located on the lower level.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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The RNCC also has a pool and Four-wheelers and I spent a lot of time in the pool with the water babies. We LOVE the pool in our family! We had the babies birthday party while most of us were together. Kaylea and Amos are two this year. Kaylea turned two in April and Angie didn't have a family party, so we decided that now before Amos' lucky birthday of 7/11/11 we would have a family party for the two of them. The theme this year was Cars. They are both interested in Cars right now, because of a certain movie that I have yet to see, and it made a great party for the two of them. I got them both Cars pillow pets.<br />
Emilea also had a race this year. It was supposed to be a 5K but we knew early on that it was much less of a distance than that. The course was supposed to be from her tree house to Papa's new house and back. I doubt that's even a 1k, but we were humoring her. It rained really hard for a little while right before we were going to do the race, so when we finally were able to do it, it was pretty soggy out. .We decided with all the mud, it wouldn't be a great idea to run up and down a hill in the mud, so the race was just on the road to Papa's house. The kids all had fun with it. I'm not sure if they would have wanted it much longer than that anyway. I think that the adults who were signed up were a little disappointed in the "5K", but I am not a runner, so I was all for the shorter course! :)trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-62960926453389946002011-07-08T12:25:00.000-07:002011-07-08T12:25:47.735-07:00Family weekendIt is always so nice to be with my family and to get to spend more and more time with them. It is so good in a way, but in another way, it makes Mama's absence so much more noticeable. I don't know how that is so, because the fact that she isn't here anymore is never far from my thoughts. I had to choke back tears so many times on Monday. My heart breaks for all of us, but sometimes I try to put myself in Daddy's shoes and it is too much to handle. He does good to try to be here for all of us when we get together like this, but you can just tell that it is hard for him. On the way home from Suzanne's on Monday I was by myself in the car and cried nearly the whole way home. I cried so much that I threw up as soon as I walked in the door. I hate it when I do that and it's not the first time I've done that since she died. Daphne and I were talking about it later and she said that when she gets like that she knows that Mama would have said, "Calm down, you are going to make yourself sick". I know that Mama would not want me to be that upset! Mama would want us to enjoy our time together without thoughts of sadness because she isn't there.trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-20633526433213176452011-07-08T10:28:00.000-07:002011-07-08T11:54:43.042-07:00GeorgiaWe are still trucking along in the foster process. We have sent in some paperwork and are kind of waiting right now for things to progress. I worry a lot about how to interact with the biological parents of the children who will be in our home. From my own family's experiences I know that there are several kinds of parents. The parents that worry me the most right now are the parents that love their children the best way that they know how. You or I would think that the care they give their children doesn't translate into love at all, but they feel like they are doing the best that they know how. I was talking with one of my sisters about this the other day and I mentioned that I wish I knew what Mama would say about it. She said that she was with Mama in a situation like that once and she told me what she did. ...<br />
In May of 2007, Mama got a call saying that there was a newborn baby girl at the hospital for her to pick up. My sister went along with Mama to pick up this precious baby. Georgia was a 4 pound baby addicted to drugs and with physical problems more than likely associated with Fetal Alcohol syndrome. My sister said that she was so mad at this mom for treating her unborn child in this way. It is, obviously, very irresponsible to use drugs and alcohol, especially when pregnant. This baby was so tiny and was jerking from the withdrawals of drugs that she was experiencing. My sister said that as they were leaving the hospital room with this tiny little baby, the mom was crying like her heart was broken and after telling mama to take care of her she said, "Please don't cut her curls!" My sister said that she was so mad and wanted to hurl back... "YOU have no say in her life anymore! YOU did this to her!" BUT in that moment, Mama looked back at her with love in her eyes and said, "I would never do that to YOUR baby" And then she turned to walk out of the room and almost as an afterthought, she turned back around and said, "All the babies in my house call me Nana. You are her Mama." Mama reached out to her and helped comfort that grieving mother all the while caring for her infant daughter. Georgia's mama said that she didn't know that her activities would have such an effect on her baby. That's hard to believe, but Georgia's mama took parenting classes as often as she could and got into every self help program that she could find. In the months to come, Mama invited this young mother to church with her and she came. She went with her to doctors appointments and mentored her as she turned her life around. It wasn't long before Georgia was back at home with her mom. But Mama was always Georgia's Nana. Georgia would spend some weekends and vacations and Holidays with us. She really was part of our family. Georgia got to spend her birthday weekend with Papa this year. She misses her Nana so much, but she loves her Papa too!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIJZYUwp95pT44GO75HlOLU-gvmsrwKmA8vcl3-6jPRDfGnTsdkHGSy0j3B82VZiCuOCUfz6fgHV0AieCX0TXMm-wfsb7pW-BxxajBmu_mGLDE_L-V0-d4vQ8fnio-7SKcXVgSosZ58E/s1600/38234_1548483351454_1216185503_1593241_4288098_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIJZYUwp95pT44GO75HlOLU-gvmsrwKmA8vcl3-6jPRDfGnTsdkHGSy0j3B82VZiCuOCUfz6fgHV0AieCX0TXMm-wfsb7pW-BxxajBmu_mGLDE_L-V0-d4vQ8fnio-7SKcXVgSosZ58E/s320/38234_1548483351454_1216185503_1593241_4288098_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nana and her Georgia at Daphne and Austin's wedding<br />
(This picture was stolen from Beth Murley!)</td></tr>
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The families that Mama and Daddy fostered don't all have happy situations like this one did, but Mama always tried. She was always aware that the children who came into her home had a likely hood of going back to their families, so she tried to have a relationship with that family. Sometimes that was impossible, but the better the relationship with the birth families the better she felt about their situation. I'm still trying to figure out how to do this when we start fostering. We are intending to foster to adopt, but we know that there will be cases where we will have children into our home and they go back to their birth families. Either way, I am praying that the relationships between us and the birth families are as good as we can make them.trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-25526251503134711402011-06-27T09:31:00.000-07:002011-06-27T13:10:34.430-07:00James 1:27I've kind of regretted telling anyone about this blog yet. I've had a few rough spots since my last post and I couldn't bring myself to write about them, knowing that someone might actually read this now! After thinking about it, I think in the future if I need to write about my sadness, I'll go ahead and do it, but I'll follow that post with something happy-ish. Maybe that will help me get over my "stage fright" a bit.<br />
It is crazy to me that sometime memories of Mama can make me smile all day, but sometimes they just take my breath away with sadness. The very same thoughts and memories that make me smile or laugh out loud can break my heart with sadness the next day or even a few minutes later. Boy, I miss her all the time! Sometimes I realize that I'm being selfish to want her here with us now. Most of the time, I am not in that frame of mind. Even believing that she is better off now, I miss her so much and wish she were still with us in this old crazy world. Of course, even writing that, I realize how selfish it is, and I am glad that she doesn't have any earthly problems anymore. It's just hard without her. I hate not being able to call her when I want to. My sister Brittnye said once that she told us everything we needed to know, and if she didn't she told someone else, so we can just ask our siblings. I thought that was pretty smart of her!<br />
Mama and I talked a lot about Fostering before she died. She brought it up nearly every time we talked for several months. It was such an important work for her and she wanted it for us too. One of Jonathan's favorite verses about Mama is James 1:27 "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, <span class="clarityWord">and</span> to keep himself unspotted<a class="footnote" href="http://lds.org/scriptures/nt/james/1.27?lang=eng#" id="footnote53" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=nt&bookUri=james&chapterUri=1&noteID=27f&lang=eng"></a> from the world" (KJV). She would always reach out to people who needed help, ESPECIALLY the fatherless and widows. She physically cared for more than one widow in her life. At times even letting them move into her already crowded home so that she could care for an older lady while also raising her own children. For example... We had an older aunt who lived with us when I was really young. My sisters and I would tell our friends that she was a witch and we would charge them a quarter to take them to see her. Her room was always dark and she had a chain on her bed for some reason and she would yell at us with a crackly voice and shake her chain when we would peep in the door. I think our friends got their money's worth. BUT, then our parents found out about our little enterprise and put a real quick stop to that! :) <br />
Before her biological children left the nest, she and my dad began fostering. They did a lot of good in the years that they were foster parents. Through no fault of their own they had to get out of the system abruptly a few years ago. After a year or so recovering from the trauma of that situation, Mama's heart was still there. She still wished that she could be a foster mom and told me over and over again what we could do to prevent the problems that she and my dad had through the foster system. They were such good examples of "pure and undefiled religion" this is another way that I can follow her example as I follow Christ. In the beginning Jonathan and I were so against fostering. I have three sisters through the system, but there were scary situations that I knew of too. It kind of reminds you of the saying, "No good deed goes unpunished". Jonathan and I have really wanted to adopt for awhile, but we did NOT want to foster. Through Mama's patience, guidance and excitement for us we became excited ourselves. Now we WANT to become foster parents and we can not wait until we are able to start bringing little ones home. We never thought that we would be excited about becoming foster parents, but we are!trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-43356161596611262462011-06-17T10:10:00.000-07:002011-06-17T10:27:22.201-07:00Sacred Selections<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzkGWkEUzP8M3SMEeBBr8g3_VfL_J81PBGNEM0je0KSoBSDxyGM7jELMp79F3e6xPuo58Ue-9xzvjFK4AJAoyQ2ZiiK5CUb2B_sEM03Pm21pK29cblq7eG3ly6MeNUOVpTK530yUDUPB4/s1600/sacred+selections+004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzkGWkEUzP8M3SMEeBBr8g3_VfL_J81PBGNEM0je0KSoBSDxyGM7jELMp79F3e6xPuo58Ue-9xzvjFK4AJAoyQ2ZiiK5CUb2B_sEM03Pm21pK29cblq7eG3ly6MeNUOVpTK530yUDUPB4/s320/sacred+selections+004.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Dinosaur Quilt</td></tr>
</tbody></table><a href="http://www.sacredselections.org/">Sacred Selections</a> is a non-profit organization that is close to my heart. It is a charitable organization that helps Christians with the finances needed to adopt. Last Friday night there was a Sacred Selections fund raiser in Memphis that Jonathan and I were able to attend. We took Emilea and Mike, our niece and nephew, and met Sam, Clay, Amos and June. This particular benefit had a BBQ dinner, a couple of silent auctions and a live auction. These events are lots of fun and for a great cause. It is neat to go and meet adoptive families who have already benefited from Sacred Selections, and to hear success stories of others that have been helped as well. Hopefully, Jonathan and I will be able to have Sacred Selections children in the near future! Jonathan and I didn't win anything at the auctions this year, but we did buy a t-shirt. Sam and Clay had some money to donate and they won a beautiful quilt! It was in the shape of a dinosaur and it was so soft and cuddly.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm8hIm7Vu0zKhdvMv3G9M0hpflG9E_sgLZ7ndVEdMGhuz9OBsobo9qTQ95WRHZ2Iuob4GDs-RDqqcyioe36eKBX1F7ma2OLoGYDMe4POyrICga0OHyRQAOE4jyoQKN-mKAB4qqdkV-IWE/s1600/sacred+selections+003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm8hIm7Vu0zKhdvMv3G9M0hpflG9E_sgLZ7ndVEdMGhuz9OBsobo9qTQ95WRHZ2Iuob4GDs-RDqqcyioe36eKBX1F7ma2OLoGYDMe4POyrICga0OHyRQAOE4jyoQKN-mKAB4qqdkV-IWE/s320/sacred+selections+003.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Amos staking his claim</td></tr>
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The stories of the night really seemed to move Emilea and Mike. At one time during the presentation, I looked over and saw that Emilea was crying. She was touched by the kids needing forever homes and loved the happy endings that she heard of. Even though we didn't realize that Mike was paying much attention, we realized later that he was listening and taking everything to heart. He was a little melancholy, which is not like him at all and he kept wanting to bid on things at the auction. Much later that night Mike and I went to Walmart and I suddenly realized that he wasn't right behind me like I had thought. I turned around and saw him parting with his hard-earned change. He was donating it to a children's charity that was set up there. Mike likes to keep his coins close. He is constantly saving for something, so to see him parting with his money was enough to choke me up a little. I asked what he was doing and he told me that he was "Donatin' money so that me and Uncle Johnny could get a baby for cheaper!" I was already choked up, but that almost made me start crying right there in the front of walmart! I explained to him that money he donated there would help babies, but it wouldn't help us get a baby. He was ok with that, as long as it was a good thing. He told me that he donated money earlier too. I'm not sure what he did. Maybe left some change on the table at the benefit, or something. But whatever it was in this case it is for sure the thought that counts! I love my nieces and nephews. They have such sweet little hearts! I benefit from their goodness all the time.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaFL06u74EaRDuwrY9VumkDx2TXwFrEvf5mIWOJ_kl21WaYlFflNaZm7roMa4bHJvSgoqk-jtKDTYJJNzcldw60sQ46Fs6C17JKACN5rfUV5K6Tn7MxiXCXvDsb3O5GIZH9PEF7-soiXc/s1600/sacred+selections+002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaFL06u74EaRDuwrY9VumkDx2TXwFrEvf5mIWOJ_kl21WaYlFflNaZm7roMa4bHJvSgoqk-jtKDTYJJNzcldw60sQ46Fs6C17JKACN5rfUV5K6Tn7MxiXCXvDsb3O5GIZH9PEF7-soiXc/s320/sacred+selections+002.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emilea, June, Amos and Mike</td></tr>
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</tbody></table>trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-2539192456880886882011-06-16T18:13:00.000-07:002011-06-18T09:24:00.106-07:00Fostering Jonathan and I have officially begun the process into becoming foster parents! I have been trying to get the ball rolling for almost a month now. Every time I called for a couple of weeks the girl was "on vacation". When I finally got in touch with her she said she just started. So I am guessing that "on vacation" is code for we don't have anyone in that position yet! Who cares, though? We have filled out our first tiny bit of paper work and we are now getting into the system. She asked what we were interested in and I said under school age. So she goes, "So you want me to put you down for ages 0 thru 7 or 8" Uh, no... Kids go to school 'round these parts at age 5 so I was thinking more along the lines of 0-4. I didn't really say all that first part. :) Just reiterated that I meant under age 5. Then she tells me that since we are young with no children that maybe we could consider preteens. Again I say no. I am so glad that Mama and I talked about Foster care before she died. This might have been a discouraging conversation to me otherwise. I knew to expect them to push older children at us. I know that the older children need help too, but as first time parents we don't want to start with teenagers, I don't know if I will ever be comfortable with older kids b/c of what my parents went through, but I'll take care of all the little kids that I can! The past few weeks have seemed harder without Mama. I crave her advice so much! I am so glad that we discussed this last year. I don't think I could do it without that. But we are so super excited!!! I know that there will be bumps in the road. I know that heartbreaking situations will be presented to us. I know that my heart will break at times too, but I also know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Phil 4:13trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-131172672877895629.post-23729319282389070502011-06-07T18:10:00.000-07:002011-06-07T18:10:06.568-07:00The joys of babysittingSo I started babysitting recently to make a few extra dollars for our family and the little girl I am keeping is a live wire! I love her so much, but she really keeps me on my toes. Jonathan too for that matter! One day last week she spilled a completely full bottle of syrup on the kitchen floor. She didn't tell me about it, so by the time I found it one minute later it was all over the place! She denied it at first, but once she realized that I KNEW it was her, she said it was a "assident". Whatever! :) It took three times to get that floor good and mopped! That same day she dumped out all my clean and folded laundry and knocked over a rack of clothes hangers in my laundry room. I had intended to get some things done that day, but all I got done was mopping syrup up, cleaning clothes hangers up and refolding laundry... my favorite chore! She has been telling Jonathan every day to "doe to da torner!" She tells him that she is going to "whoop him and put him in the torner!" his crime, though I have yet to see it, is biting the dog. You think he'd learn his lesson by now, but he has been getting in trouble for the same thing every day!trishie1of7http://www.blogger.com/profile/05561834214465441573noreply@blogger.com0