Grief

I've never realized how deep grief can be. I didn't know that this raw grief could last so long. You hear to keep so and so in your prayers as they are dealing with the loss of a loved one. You might think to pray for them for a couple of weeks and then it's not so important to you anymore. Not that you don't care, but it's just easy to forget that they are still grieving. At least that's how I've always been. I just didn't realize that losing someone so close was so painful!
Mama meant the world to me. Daddy always said that they'd get 40 calls a day with one or the other of us calling to ask Mama a question or just to talk to her. Not that we didn't want to talk to Daddy, we just had Mama things to discuss. Lots of times, even after we were married, when we would visit we would "make" Daddy sleep on the couch so we could sleep with mama. Not that we ever did any sleeping. We would talk all night about everything. Mama was a fount of wisdom. She knew the answer to just about anything. If she didn't know the answer she knew how to get it. I've picked up the phone several times since her death to call her and ask her something. One time I actually let the phone ring before I realized that she would never be there again. I just crumbled to the floor and cried. It's not that I forgot that she died. It's just that a thought popped into my head and I had to ask her about it.
There have been days since she died that I have just wanted so badly to talk to her. To hear her voice again.